Recently, I was threatened.Apparently, someone claimed to have rights over me, and if I didn’t follow their instructions to the letter (get a job with insurance, get married immediately after, then take out a house and car loan, and finally a helicopter on the roof), they would “never forgive me.” Who makes such a ridiculous threat?
Of course… families.
The Myth of the Sacred Family
Ah! How strange… There’s no desire to come into the world. There’s no written declaration. Not even a request. In fact, I say, let’s just be done and go already. Yet someone decides to bring you into the world for their own reasons, then turns around and says, “You owe us.” Really? Is that how it works? We need to talk about this. Let’s see who owes whom.
Let’s start with the “sacredness” of family. There is no such thing. Who made this up? Why is family sacred? Why does no one ask this question? Family isn’t sacred. Don’t even need to look at the tragic stories of abusive households on the news. Many ordinary families around us are more than enough as examples.
“For your own good…” Who hasn’t heard this phrase? Decisions are made for you without asking your opinion. Because you don’t know. Because you’re a child, and they are adults. When you object, they say they’re thinking of your best interest. If you insist, the sacred family plays the guilt card. They force you to do what they want. If you’re foolish enough, you’ll give up out of fear. And the decision made for you will most likely poison your life. Then when you ask why this happened, the answer is: “Oh, dear, how could we have known this would happen?” But weren’t you the adults, and didn’t you make the best decision for your child’s good? Didn’t you threaten them just for it?
Is this a joke?
The “I Won’t Forgive You” Trap
Especially in matters like marriage, the ultimate guilt card is frequently used. Someone else is trying to choose the person you might spend your life with. Why? Or others decide the profession you’ll pursue for life. WHY?
It’s time to end this nonsense! There’s no such thing as parental rights. We don’t come into this world by our own will, as I said. Right? They want a child and have sex. Yes, SEX!
Let’s start from the basics. Reproduction. Sex, that is. Not gender. Make love. The love part is debatable, of course. Anyway, many people, unfortunately, reproduce. And yes, sex is done for this purpose. Everyone, every human, has parents who had sex. Some may not believe this (including the parents themselves), but that’s unfortunately the case. They had sex, they are having sex, and they will likely continue to do so.
Right now, for instance, some parents are having sex somewhere. And while some are doing it to reproduce, others are doing it just for fun. In fact, some are doing it with others, disregarding the “sacred” family bonds.
How enjoyable that is for some of them is another topic for discussion. Due to reasons like cultures, taboos, ignorance, etc., we don’t usually call it sex. Maybe we can call it “pastime activity”? Hehehe. Anyway, let’s continue with reproduction.
Why do people have children? Continuation of the lineage, instincts, love for children, the need for children (for labor on the farm or servant for old age), societal pressure, and of course, family pressure. The list can go on. The standard life of “study, find a job, get married, and have children.” Nobody goes to a family and says, “I want to be born.” Families have children because they want them, without considering their circumstances (financial, physical, emotional, geographical, etc.). They don’t even perform important tests like blood tests to ensure the child’s health. They don’t care. They want a child, and they have one. So do these people have the right to claim rights?
There’s no parental right, only child’s right. A child has the right over their parents. They brought them into this world, so they must take care of them. Taking care of a child is not a favor; it’s an obligation. If you’ve made a child, you must take care of it. And bringing a child into the world doesn’t give you the right to interfere with their life.
If you’ve brought a child into the world for a reason, you’re OBLIGATED to take care of them until a certain age. And since this human is a separate soul, consciousness, or whatever you believe in, you cannot interfere with their life. Halil Cibran has a beautiful quote: “They came through you, but not from you; And though they are with you, they belong not to you… You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts…”
Parents Have Rights? (The Milk Issue)
Carrying a baby for nine months and constantly reminding them… What about the “milk.” Let’s not forget the milk. The issue of claiming rights over breast milk is a big deal. It’s the ultimate emotional blackmail. It’s so ridiculous, I don’t even want to talk about it. But since people accept this nonsense, I have to speak. The uterus, the pregnancy organ in mammals. In mammals like humans, the baby stays here until birth. A sperm cell comes and fertilizes the egg, basic biology… Basic biology is taught in schools, right? From this single cell, a human is formed. In humans, it takes 9 months for this process. This is part of reproduction. Humans evolved this way, or they were created this way by a higher being. Whatever. People knowingly have children with this knowledge. They carry them for nine months by their own choice. After that, some people claim they have rights because they “changed the diaper” or “fed the baby.” It’s portrayed as a favor. It’s ridiculous. Yet, since people accept this nonsense, I’ll talk about it. A deer’s baby starts running to escape predators right after birth, while a human baby can barely walk in a year. Those who try to claim rights, knowing how weak the human baby is, are wrong. You knew the baby would be weak, yet you chose to have a child. You took a risk with their life. You can’t claim rights just because you protected and raised them.
Let’s continue with the milk issue. Humans are mammals, remember? After birth, mammals produce milk to feed their young. TO FEED THEIR CHILD. The idea that babies come with blessings is wrong. Babies come with their own sustenance. The milk that’s claimed belongs to the baby. By what right do people hold that milk over your head like an unpaid debt?
Let me repeat: MILK BELONGS TO THE CHILD. No matter your belief, the creator sends the baby with its sustenance, leaving no one dependent on anyone else. From a natural law perspective, the young is weak. It doesn’t even have proper teeth to chew, let alone hunt. Life continues because nature provides a solution: the mother produces milk. Just like birds chew and feed their young, mammals produce milk. They don’t do this voluntarily; their bodies automatically produce it after birth. You’re obligated to feed your child, or they’ll starve. It’s that simple.
People are using breastfeeding as a guilt card, threatening you with it, and no one objects to this absurdity?! What else can you do with that milk besides feeding your child? Breastfeed your husband?
Modern parents say it’s hard to raise a child and that they now understand what their parents went through. Ah! Modern parents… They keep causing headaches. Older generations love to romanticize it. They acted like children grew up on their own. Send them out, and tell them to come home before the evening. If they’re late, beat them. That’s about it. The number of children they had is a good example. How did they manage when they were dealing with more than one child? They didn’t manage. That’s it. Remember the family traumas discussed with psychologists.
Modern ones are confused because they are exposed to too much information. They might be struggling with that. But as I said, they are struggling for themselves. They have to!
Do parents have any rights? Yes, a few. The age range of 18-25. It’s time to leave the house. Of course, this depends on the country. If a child stays at home beyond this age, they start to become a burden to the family. If parents continue taking care of them, they can claim rights. However, if the child can’t establish their own home due to reasons like economic problems (having a child in an inflationary world), not wanting them to leave (due to insecurity, “you can’t do it” mindset), or selfishness (they had you so you can take care of them when they’re old), they cannot claim rights. If a child is old enough but can’t set up their own home because of their family, that’s a crime.
Our reason for being born is our family. However, I’m not saying that those living good lives should be thankful and those living bad lives should curse their families. That’s a completely different topic. Not every event is caused by family. I just want to point out this: family is important, but it’s not sacred. They are obligated to take care of their children. They can’t claim rights, they can’t interfere with their children’s lives, and based on this, they certainly can’t threaten them. If they want puppets, they should make a puppet instead of a child.
Don’t take what I’ve mentioned to mean that family is bad. Family isn’t sacred. Families consist of ordinary people. Some are good, some are bad. I’m not saying cut the ties. You are a person too. You are an individual with ideas, tastes, things that make you happy or sad. You are an individual and society is made up of individuals. You only have one life. Realize that. Don’t waste it living as someone else’s property.
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